No ooglies for you tonight.

I have a complex about picking up the little one from school, it was brought about by a seven year old asking my daughter if her grandad (me) was picking her up from school, now I'm not sure if he was joking or not as every time l have tried to get him on his own his mum turns up, but l have a good memory and will bide my time and wait, in six years time l have no doubt he will be drinking in the pubs.

Then i will have him.

You pretty much know the answer even before you ask the question and the other day was no different, on picking the daughter up from school it was the usual,

"what did you do today"
"Can't remember"
"what you mean you cant remember? you only just finished school"
"l never done anything"
"what you never did anything all day"
"Yep"

That is pretty much what we get everyday.

We get home and she says she has been a good girl and got a leaf today, (you get leafs for doing well and orange cards for being naughty) the alarm bells should have started ringing then really. I tell her well done and when she has done her spellings she can watch the television at the moment her top programme is the ooglies (it's actually very good). I usually get l don't want to do my spellings but tonight i never even a murmur, that again should have set the alarm bells ringing.

All was going well with the spellings when the phone rings. The voice on the other end says, Its Miss Russell Kirsty's teacher, now all of a sudden those bells are clanging and l think feck me what has she done now?

I had to give Kirsty a second Orange Card today for shouting out in class(I personally think she gets that from her mother) she was being cheeky and answering back (l think she gets that from her mother as well).

Now when you have someone telling you how naughty your child has been all you can do is try to be apologetic and generally sound like an idiot. I tell the teacher l will sit her down and have a word with her and hopefully it wont happen again.

I knew Kirsty had heard all of the conversation, she was very quiet, mainly due to the fact l was starring at her with my angry face. We don't have good cop, bad cop in our house, its pretty much bad cop, bad cop.

Trying to get the truth from a naughty seven year is hard in itself, nothing is ever their fault, this time the fault layed at the door of Miss Russell for not listening to her, so she had to shout to be heard and of course she never answers back.

I tell her off and and warn her about her future conduct, but you know it's going in one ear and out the other with no distance to travel at all. I come out firing with the big guns. No ooglies, no cartoons and your not allowed to play on your DS either and each day after school l will ask your teacher if you have been a good girl.

Of course this goes down like a lead balloon and the tantrums start and now i can see what the teacher means by the answering back, so there is only one thing for it up to her room, where she can cool off.

This is followed by the stomping and banging in her bedroom and me wondering if our daughter had put on weight or even if she was planning on coming downstairs not by the conventional method of the stairs but through the cieling.

The cooling off period eventually worked and all was calm. We then had a father and daughter converstion (of which i know there will be many more, God help us) of me telling her she needed to be a good girl at school.

The next day after asking Miss Russell how she had been, l was told she is not that bad and in fact quiet good, which made me confused as to why we should get a phone call in the first place.

She even added that "Oh no there are children much worse in the class than Kirty"

My money is on the cheeky kid who thinks l am a grandad.