Think l need a Sat Nav.

Looked at my emails on Saturday night and there was one telling me of poker tournament on Sunday, well not having played live for a month or two, it was touch and go if l could make it at such short notice. The daughter had a friends birthday to attend and l was not sure what time that finished.

After finding out the times the next plan of action was to sweet talk the missus, yes l admit l have to grovel now and again after finding out l was not grovelling for my monthly love fest she seemed more than happy to let me go probably with the intention that she would be fast asleep before l got back.

So after getting directions on how to pick my mate up l set off at 2.45 to pick him up and head for the club. Now l could get lost in a phone box so l was not comfortable l would find his house. Turn into Yaxley first turning on the left and follow the road till you come to Pheasant way well the first part was easy and l come to what l thought was the road, Partridge Close now some might say how you get Pheasant and Partridge mixed up but in my defence they do begin with a P and when your on the phone it can be easy to mistake them if your watching a horse race and listening to a screaming 17 month old as well.

So not sure if its the right street or not l knew the house number so up l go up and knock on the door, only for it to be opened by a bloke who looks nothing like my mate, knowing he has a wife and has never mentioned a boyfriend l am pretty certain l have fecked up yet again. Sorry mate l have the wrong house, do you know if there is another road down here that begins with a p. Partridge Way he says, Yes that's he one do you know where it is please. Now he shouts to his daughter and she yells back where it is. I once again apologise and set off to find my mates house.

Now l have the right road but l cant find the number l go up and down a couple of times before my mate walks down the road and puts me out of my misery.

We get to the club and l was expecting about thirty - forty runners but nope a thirty pound buy in with thirty minute blinds and 15k starting stack had only attracted a miserable eighteen runners.

Now l am not very good at remember hands pretty much the same as my navigation's but winning the first two hands was all that happened in the first level, when l raised l would get always two callers and my bet on the flop was either re-raised or flat called. One guy on my table was always raising me making me put hands down where l had missed the flop. It was only when l saw him fritter away about 14k with 10-2 on a board that had a couple of over cards and him calling all the way to the river did l now think that maybe l was being rolled over.

My mate had been knocked out and was now sitting down watching drinking his bitter while l was supping away at my Orange and lemonade with two lumps of ice.

It was on the third level and l was down to about 9k where l raised with ks 9s and he called the flop came kh jd 5s with me betting out and him calling the turn bringing 7s, l decided to check and he bet l came over the top and went all in, l was pretty sure he never had a king and even if he did l still had outs. To my amazement he called and l thought feck he has a king but instead he turned over Ad Qh no help for him on the river and now l was back over my starting stack. With only one hand left before the break l bluffed and won another 4k on a j j 9 board having called the flop then raising on the turn.

Players where staring to drop out and soon we were nine left and l was about fourth in chips but playing well and had a pretty good table image. Blinds had reached 1k 2k and i raised to 6k with ks jc all folded apart from the BB who called the flop came Kc Js 6d the Bingo bongo bango, as Mike sexton would say show tunes where going off in my head. The BB came out betting for 4k, l thought and calling but decided if he had any part of it he would call or raise, so l raised it to 11k. He then said have you hit the King, gave it the Hollywood treatment and went all-in. Now if he had 6s all well and good, no way did l think he had Js or Ks so l called and he showed j 6 with no 6 on the turn or river, l was now chip leader.

We had been playing about four and a half hours and were down to four, l was now second in chips having lost big pots to a bloke l just never could get a read on, l wanted to play as l thought l could out play him and he was so pleased on just making the final four that he kept on saying this was the best he had ever done, but when l limped he would raise and when l raised he would re-raise and show the goods, which made me feel better for laying down in the first place.

Now l am not sure how the chip counts went for this next hand as l think the blinds were 1.5k 3k but there had been a raise and a re-raise and l look down at Ac, Kc, the moment l called the re-raise l knew l had played it bad but if l analyze it back again was just trying to play my nemesis and not really thinking about the first players raise once l called he went all-in and my nemesis thought about it and folded it was going to cost me another 26k into a pot of about 55k( l could be wrong on the chip stacks but in general l was getting better than 2/1 to call). The call was pretty much made for me as l had the guy covered. Cards on their backs and he shows queens, the flop was good with a king hitting the board and with no help on the turn or river, l was in the money with the chip lead.

Three went into two and my nemesis never played a hand with me and lost all his chips to the other guy in three hands giving my opponent the chip lead going into the heads up battle. I was confident l would win (without being big headed) sometimes you think you are playing really well and only a major mistake would cost you first place, we had played about ten hands and l was now chip leader (not by much) when he said do you want to split it, The winner got 250 while the runner up got 150, now as l said earlier l was confident l would win and wanted to carry on and play but l thought 200 was not a bad payday and he was pretty happy and maybe a little surprised that l accepted his offer. Still not sure now why l accepted maybe it was the fact l had been drinking Orange juice and lemonade and fancied getting back to the village for a pint or the fact that my bets had gone down on Saturday that this would in some ways make up for it.

Getting back to the village at about 9.30, l walk into the pub and it being quiz night, its all go in out local, l settle to have my first pint in a few weeks. The Spurs fans were out in force which was not surprising since they won 9-1. A few pints later and l was getting chucked out of the pub at just after twelve which is pretty early by local village standards.

Getting in just past midnight the missus was indeed fast asleep and if that was her plan it had worked a treat, not having had much to eat l did think about cooking a pizza but after what happened last time, l decided it would be much safer decided just to have a packet of wotsits and go to bed.


Bonus question from last nights quiz.

What year was the first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

No looking at Google.